A Lot Like Love (2005) - Movie Review

This movie is the one responsible for me to have decided to never name my child Gabe - the babe, or any of its variations; worse if it's a girl like Gabrielle because then she guys would try to pick her up with that line, and then she would resent me for it, and then the drugs and unwanted pregnancies. All because I named her Gabe. I am kidding. In truth, if I met a girl named Gabrielle or the like, then that would be my line "hey Gabe, you know, as in babe ha.ha.ha,"  and then I would get slapped - or what is more commonplace - just get ignored.

This is one of those pieces of film that show you why a family wagon is the perfect type of car, that should be flying off the dealerships. Not a freaking off-roader/SUV - or even a crossover. Unlike the compromise you get with those cars; a family wagon is low to the ground, meaning better control. And just like those tall cars, they are spacious, and they do one better, the boot/trunk generally lays flat, so you can use it as a bed if you like doing things like camping.

A Lot Like Love is one of my favorite romantic comedies. It has its cheese, but it is the kind that melts just right, and seeing Emily and Oliver interact is a joy. More so, Amanda Peet has some beautiful eyes that just stand out on camera. The only knock I would have against the film would be that the whole three-strike element at the very end where Emily makes up in her mind that Oliver actually made the first move because he took pictures of her before they interacted. Meh, that was not needed. Oh, and that "Don't, you'll ruin it line," why was that said at the very end...

The one character that I found quite hateful was Oliver's girlfriend in the middle of the movie. The guy is busting his ass trying to make a living for each other, but no, she can't see that. Just say that you're a miserable twat, that he is not it, and move on. Instead, once again, she has to go out by insulting the guy because it's all his fault.
Now, don't hold me for some sexist ass - I do have a little of that but still. We also have a douche in Emily's second boyfriend. He was there just to get him some, and once he was done, he was out. And that ain't right.

The thing I like the most about this movie is its message. Recently I learned that if you find the one for you, and you are hers, then just don't wait to marry your significant other - that it is the best decision that you could make in your life. Granted, that is quite the gamble, but the risk pales compared to the benefits - not that I know much about that. Since this is a romantic comedy, it had to have a happy ending - so no matter how many times these two ruined their chances over the course of years; they ended together. Outside of movies, well, we know that's usually not the case.

On their third meeting, Emily was clearly wanting her some Oliver, but this guy was completely at a loss. Why the hell does he have to be reading signs as if men are mind readers. Emily is a naturally a flirt, and a very good one, so as a guy, in order to avoid ruining shit, he has to tuck his dick in and play it cool, and then she gets confused, not knowing if he wants her or not. See, this is why I like this movie; it points out how good women are at mind fucking... so good they screw themselves in the process. I keed.

It is ok to go out there and make a fool of yourself for the one you love. It is normal to go out there and sit somewhere in hopes to see that person. But be careful in overdoing it or picking the wrong target because then you'll end up with a restraining order.

Movie Foods - The World's Greatest Sandwich - Spanglish (2004)

There is this whole concept about experiencing a movie, and getting immersed into that world as briefly as it may be. What better way than to be eating the same foods as the characters on the screen. This is what this series is about. I want to make these dishes with my own take on it while trying to stay true to the nature of the dish.

In this movie, there is a sandwich that became an icon: the world's greatest sandwich. I find it quite strange because the scene with this sandwich is less than half a minute long, and half of that time is dedicated for a beer pouring flare. And John (Adam Sandler) doesn't even get to take a bite of it. Yet, this scene is one of the most memorable scenes in the movie.

The recipe for this sandwich was made by Thomas Keller. It is basically a modified BLT - bacon, lettuce, tomato - with a fried egg over-easy and melted cheese on the bread.
His order is very specific. From top to bottom: mayonnaise, tomato, bacon, egg, lettuce, cheese. On the DVD extras they say he insisted the cheese had to be melted.

When I first made it as the original recipe is set, it was like eating a number of sandwiches put into one. And the combination works beautifully. Can you call it 'The Greatest'? I don't know, it is all subjective, but it is pretty damn good.

My take on the recipe:

For my own take on this sandwich I wanted to make it into a garlic bread. This meant that I would have to melt the cheese separately because otherwise I would run the risk of burning the bread. I would have preferred to use a torch to melt the cheese, but I dont have one.

I added basil into the recipe to add extra fragrance. Besides, with the tomatoes and the garlic bread, you are getting a bruschetta in the sandwich.

The big change that I made though is the egg. Now, I do like an egg over-easy on a sandwich, and it is one of the trademarks of this recipe, but it is a bit messy, and if you were to take this sandwich as your lunch, the risk of having egg yolk all over you is too high. Besides, by making it into an omelette, I could add butter into the mix.

Another detail I added, and this didn't come through on the video was that I added bacon grease into the mayo, as well as a splash of sherry vinegar.

As far as the bread, I used a country style bread, just kept it simple. Though for the sake of the video I ended butchering a big loaf of bread to get the right portions. I just couldn't find the right size.
I used swiss cheese, but I think any other melty cheese or even a blend would do the job just as well. That is up to you.

TIPS:
 - Whenever you make this sandwich, just make sure every ingredient fits into the mold of the bread so you can have an cohesive dish.
 - Everything that goes into the pan should be cooked at low heat.
 - Sprinkle some salt into the tomatoes for about 15 minutes so that they lose some of their excess moisture.
 - If you choose to make the garlic bread, the temp is at 175Cs (350F) for 10 minutes.
 - As soon as the omelette is cooked, rub a little bit of butter on it; this does make a difference.
 - Probably the most important part is the bacon, like I said, low and slowly. Remember, the bacon will go from greasy soft, to crispy, and then burnt to shit in no time; so pay attention.

Is this sandwich worth it? absolutely. It is like eating a BLT, a grilled cheese sandwich, toast with eggs, and a bruschetta all rolled into one. It just works. Just think of the incredible combination of butter, olive oil, and bacon fat.

On a final note: I wasn't able to get the no-look beer pouring trick right, that's why I didn't post it. I was wasting too much beer.

The Right Kind of Wrong (2013) - Movie Review

This movie infuriated me within the first ten minutes - that is why I decided to write a review on it. Within these introductory scenes we do get a reason as to why she wrote what she wrote; the guy was not fun to be around. Fine, but then she appears on TV and it is the ex-wife and the presenter of the show, and both come together to just pummel it to the audience how much the poor martyr had suffered - what the fuck.

If she was that unhappy the answer is simple: leave him. But no, she stayed with him for who knows how long; writing these mean spirited details about her partner, and then getting famous for it. Does anything else happen to her? Yes, at the end she gets a movie deal.

There is a quote by Paulo Coehlo in his book The Alchemist "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it". I don't necessarily agree with the quote itself, but I get that is the premise as to why the main character "Leo" decides to chase the recently married "Colette". And almost every character around them somewhat help for these two to get together. It is a ridiculous idea, but I could roll with it.

One positive side of this movie is the couple with the guy that has a twitter account for his balls. It is quite bothersome when I watch a movie where the supporting characters are a whole lot more interesting than the central characters. Another movie like this is 'Wedding Daze' (2006) where I felt the perverted parents were just over the top.

My favorite part is where Leo thinks that the woman he has fallen for is awesome because she can punt a football -which is a central point in the plot-, and he is then immediately shot down when his friend's wife can hang glide. It was not just because of the scene transition, but because I felt it was a way for the movie to recognize how ridiculous this whole story is.

Leo's ex-wife was bothersome. The one I could not stand was the love interest Colette. She is the villain of this whole story instead of her rich ex-husband to be. In fact, I feel like the husband was being a gentleman given all the fuckeries that are going on with Leo's approaches and with Colette not really avoiding Leo. I was suprised he didn't just bash Leo's skull; which is what he should have done.

Sure the whole threatening Leo with deporting his friend was low. But come on, he is rich, not a gemius. And how could Colette call Leo brave for ceising with his attempts after the threat, and that is what won her. Of course you bitch! How dare she think she is worth getting a whole family deported!

And the cuntiest move of all is the break-up. She insults the guy for being who he is - a rich cardigan-wearing guy who drives a Hummer, but it doesn't end there. She tells the man she is leaving to his face as she is breaking his heart that she is leaving him for another man. What.the.fuck.

Ok, do you see my point? She married this guy knowing she didn't love him nor his lifestyle. She only felt good with him for the first two months, but then that was it. If she knew this, then for all seven heavens' sakes, why did she fucking accept the proposal! She married him for the financial safety, but then that's not what she wanted. What kind of a selfish cunt are we supposed to be rooting for here!

By the way, driving a Hummer does not make the character an asshole. If anything, it probably shows a lack of common sense... given gas prices and all.

Rio 2 (2014) - Movie Review

What the fuck is wrong with this movie!

There is one horrible, outdated message that this movie is sending to its young audience: how to treat your partner when shit hits the fan.

Maybe I shouldn't put this movie as the sole target on this topic - since there are many movies with a similar plot line - but it really bothered me that this movie is targeted for kids. Sure, Frozen (2013) is a much more popular film that has plot issues with the dealings between the sisters, but the one in Rio 2 bothered me a hell lot more.

There are many plot lines on this movie, which they were all fine to me - cliched and all, but bearable. The one plot line that really pissed me off was between Blue and his partner Jewel. So, we start the movie with Jewel missing her natural habitat. Once they find out there are more birds of their species, they both agree and go out to search for them - all fine.

As the movie progresses we see Blue feeling he is being left behind, but he goes on and tries to fight for his partner's acknowledgement. He fails time and time again, as he feels that he is getting beat by Roberto, the awesome bird. At some point Blue gets upset and comfronts Jewel over this issue, and what does she say to him? "fuck off back to where you came from". Yeah, that's all she does; maybe she felt a little sad? What a pathetic effort.

But it doesn't end there. She wouldn't have done anything about it. She would have let him go, sulk a little about it, and then simply move on. No, the one that has to do everything is Blue. He has to go back, get enough strength to save Jewel and the species, and only then does she take him back. Did she ever say sorry? I don't recall, I think she did... To add more salt to the wound, the movie makes it that there is an interest by Jewel towards Roberto, and this portion is "happily" ended once we find out that Roberto is not the perfect bird that was first portrayed as. It makes me think that's the only reason why Jewel's interested died - now if what I just wrote is not accurate, that Jewel's affections towards Roberto was that of just friends; well, the damn film did not make that clear!

So, I get that maybe Jewel told Blue to fuck off because she felt sad for him, and she felt that all he wanted was to go home, and she is torn about it... really, all these "feelings" bullshit, so fucking weak of a point of argument. Why didn't she sit with him and talk this through, but no, she shows very little care for her partner through all this - except of course the sad face.

Is this the message that this movie gives kids about relationships? If someone that you say you care about gets in your way of your own whim, get rid of them? Or is it that if your confidence is down, do not count on your life partner - oh no. You must do it on your own, and prove that you are good enough, and only then... unless if there is a rival, and he is as perfect as his image, then you're fucked.

In closing, this is not a sexist review where I am attacking women by calling them weak or twatty because lord knows I need to get laid - a reference to Bill Burr. You can switch the genders on these two (which would actually not feel right). No, this is a complaint about the poor portrayal of dealing with a serious problem within a relationship, and it is handled so poorly that it caused me to write this.

Spanglish (2004) - Movie Review

One of the few serious Adam Sandler's roles. It is also the movie that proclaims to have the most famous sandwich in a movie, ever. It was developed by Thomas Keller, and the recipe for this sandwich is called 'The World's Greatest Sandwich'. It is a modified BLT (bacon, lettuce, tomato) with added melted cheese and friend egg over-easy. It is one of those strange things that get a cult following because that sandwich scene is only about thirty seconds, and the sandwich never gets eaten.

But I am not reviewing sandwich this time; althought I could... No, Spanglish is one of those movies that I remember watching, liking it, but not being sure what the movie was about. I mean. the story is easy to understand, and the characters in them are very vivid - amongst all of them; Paz Vega's character as Flor, the Mexican maid and single mom, just steals it. The pacing, the tone throughout the movie, all the elements in the movie come together to make a movie that is really enjoyable from beginning to end. But I didn't really understand, but I think I finally got it.

The whole story is narrated as an admissions essay for a scholarship into Princeton University; the question being asked is who is the most influential person in your life. The narration starts with Flor and Cristina in a small town in Mexico. Flor is heartbroken because Cristina's father left them. This is what triggers Flor's decision to move to the United States, ilegally; which I found it to be an interesting touch... not a whole lot else is told about the struggles, only that they lived in a Latin American community in Los Angeles; which is why Flor never needed to learn English. Then after six years Flor has the need to get a better paying job to watch over her daughter's... blossoming. 

In the job interview with the white upper-class family, the Claskys, Flor's name is mispronounced as 'floor'. This small detail in the movie is what helped me realize what this movie was all about. Floor, as in grounded, is what Flor represents; it's all about keeping good morals, traditions - a good heart - despite harships and challenges in life. And in order to not completely break that foundation; sometimes a heavy personal sacrifice has to be made.

See, before I could not properly understand the narration when Flor's inner struggle was being mentioned, nor could I understand why Flor reacted so heavily when Deborah tricked Flor into letting her daughter sleep over. Then I realized the quiet battle between these two women is on many fronts. On this one angle, Flor represents that tradition of good family values; while Deborah is more forward thinking, but the problem with Deborah is that her priorities are all mixed up. She is giving Flor's daughter a whole lot more attention than her own in multiple accounts... It actually had little to do with it being a sleep-over.

I also could not understand at the end scenes of the movie where the phrase 'I need space' was not something that Flor would stand her daughter saying. Maybe it was about breaking tradition, or maybe it was about not allowing this to cause damage in their relationship... Actually, I'm still not sure.

I could go on and on reviewing every character and the relationships with each; like how Deborah feels like Crisitina understands her in their interactions; so on and so forth... but no, the important part of this movie is about what Flor represents, and that is what I could not understand in my first viewings.

So no, this movie is not a food movie, aside from a sandwich. It is not about Adam Sandler, or about a romantic relationship between two people who have a language barrier; which is what the trailers made me believe back then. Yes, there is a growing romance between John (Sandler) and Flor, but their relationship is much more... adorable than that.

Mean Girls (2004) - Movie Review

This past wednesday [April 30th, 2014] was the Mean Girls 10th anniversary, and as such, a lot of the social media were posting tributes to the icon that this movie has now become - and I should have jumped in the bandwagon at set date, but part of me couldn't bother. Regardless, I decided to review this movie for what it is; Mean Girls is a movie that defines the first decade after the year 2000.

If I was to pick a movie that would define the 1980s, that movie would be Robocop (1987). You watch that movie, and it just screams 80s. It is just not the fashion style of the time, but also how people back in those days used to think of how the future was going to be like. See, back in that decade, people were afraid that the world would become this violent rape-filled wasteland, and this movie covers that with some social satire in a way that no other movie that I've seen covers. And also, the great moments of violence that were tastefully done. My favorite scene is the one with the two-legged robot, the ED-209, is shown to give a demo in the OCP headquarters office, when a bug causes it to shoot an innocent assistant non-stop. The movie shows the ED-209 shoot the victim for ten seconds with a heavy caliber machine gun at close range.

If I were to pick a movie that would represent the 90s, that one would be 'You've Got Mail' (1998). When I saw that movie recently; that is how I remember how I used to think in the 90s. The plot itself was just like any other chick flick out there - the most remarkable point for this movie is that it has the most disposable previous/current love relationship in Greg Kinnear's character; the way he is just tossed away... wow. You also have Meg Ryan in the movie, the queen of romantic movies at the time. You know a movie is anchored to its time when the central part of the story involves using the current technology of the time; oh yeah, you get  modem connection internet with all its charms. This movie even alerts the public about the future inevitable rise of Starbucks, but what makes this movie an ambassador  of the 90s is how businesses were run - almost carelessly when you're the boss.

As for Mean Girls; well, it depicts the image on how modern schools in America were like at the time. But the magic of this movie for me is in its humour. It isn't the cleanest since it goes into making fun of the different cliques that would make up a high school, but it doesnt go into all out slapstick like the American Pie series. No, the humour in Mean Girl is rather smart, and my biggest laughs when watching this movie come out from the small details. And it is the tone of this movie what makes it the perfect representative for its decade. See, this movie came out after 9/11, and when you watch this movie, you don't see the damage that day caused. Instead, it is a message about moving forward. It is about looking at the self -make fun of who you are- and then work for a brighter future. I think that was the general mentality of that decade in the US despite the wars and the global recession.

Mean Girls is one of those movies that are perfect for what they are. I am not saying that every scene shot by shot is perfect; I am sure there are flaws. Not all of the jokes in the movie resonates with me. I never understood why "You go Glen Coco" became such a big deal. I am certain most people can't relate to being in upper middle class white America. At times, the movie can feel shallow by constantly making fun of (mostly girls) characters who don't fit the idea of what being pretty is. But maybe that's where the audience gets tricked - like a social call for stopping discrimination and judgement based on attractiveness.

Take the scenes where girls are worshipping the queen of the mean girls, Regina (Rachel McAdams) like "One time Regina punched me in the face, it was awesome". Actually, throughout the entire movie, in almost all the scenes the mean girls are the only ones that are set to be the attractive ones; therefore increasing the perception of their importance compared to their schoolmates - which is what we as humans do, place those that are more attractive at a higher level... Or maybe I am looking too deeply into it.